Nicodemus came to Jesus at night and said, ‘Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God.’ John 3:2

Waking in the dead of night is awful. Here we’re confronted with our darkest thoughts. I note it was a sleepless Nicodemus who visited Jesus at night.

Darkness intensifies our loneliness, yet also protects us from the scrutiny we fear. Respectable Nicodemus emerges from the shadows to approach the less than respectable Jesus.

He asks his question. Jesus pauses to consider if this is flattery, or an honest enquiry? Lost in his internal darkness, Nicodemus hungers for more understanding.

Darkness engulfs us all from sunset to sunrise. It’s a space all too often filled with the conflicts that map our lives. Uncertain of tomorrow’s promise, we remain dissatisfied with yesterday’s realities.

Must my yesterdays always shape my tomorrows? A question that haunts us all. Change challenges comforting certainties. Yet, until and unless I change, I cannot grow in my friendship with God. Nothing is as frightening as being besieged by uncertainty. My darkest fears stalk me, testing my resilience, my confidence and my God.

Then I hear the faintest call: ‘Come, follow me’. My life’s disrupted. God’s voice is familiar but my path obscure. I’m drawn in God’s direction, but fearful of having to redirect my steps. My carefully crafted life plan now subject to change or rewriting. It’s mission no longer my own but one commissioned by God; one I cannot fathom until I embark upon it.

Failure to respond leaves me a dissatisfied wanderer in a wilderness of my own confusion. Now I must summon my inner resolve and call out to God, my only source of light. Moving on proves challenging. I haven’t the coordinates for my destination. God looks only for my obedient response. I waver between yes and perhaps.

Something to Consider: What disturbs you within your Christian faith?

An Action to Take: In the darkness first acknowledge your fear, then choose to follow Jesus, then seal this with a prayer.

A Prayer to Make: ‘Lord, meet me in the dark and lead me towards the light each and every day.’

Used with Permission

Micha Jazz is Director of Resources at Waverley Abbey, UK.